11 Comments
User's avatar
Graham's avatar

I've been with my partner for 22yrs unmarried with 3 children, However we made a promise to each other at the beginning of our journey that if things changed we would be honest about our feelings. Loving one person for life is a tall order and be genuinely honest. I have loved many people in that time, I don't have to sleep with someone to love them.

The Zen Psychedelic's avatar

22 years together speaks for itself. Thanks for the comment. Reminder that love isn't scarce, and comes in many forms

Joe Morison's avatar

Our children are almost 40 and 36, both happily married as my wife and I are. One thing I am clear about, love is not a feeling or state of being, it’s a form of life, it’s what you do. I have often advised young parents that when things get tough, you don’t stay together for the sake of the children, you love each other for their sake. That means being there for them, sharing their problems and your own, being truthful and being kind. Do the right thing and the feelings will always follow.

Heiko Lorenzen's avatar

Congrats and Thank you, I love that promise. And at the same time for me it is more than a promise. It is also about responsibility, choice and commitment. Everyday from moment to moment.

Cara Riane's avatar

When you look back at past transits, did anything actually change — or did something finally surface that had been building quietly the whole time?

The Zen Psychedelic's avatar

Something feels like it's changed but I can't quite place what it is yet

Peter Manders's avatar

Married for 48 years. Feelings of love can be physical and mentally on specific moments. Mostly driven by body and brain. But being together and walking together the path of life in the assurance that one can rely on each other and always find a home base with your partner is the most important of a partnership. This can be in a marriage or without this formal ceremony. Because you’re right, there always can be changes in life that makes one of them decide to take a complete new path in life without you as a partner.

Regan Roberts's avatar

Congratulations!

I recently got engaged so this gives me something to chew on. I feel like many people think weddings are about the day rather than every day after that. To be in a loving partnership takes work, it's not built on the photograph moments but the tough touch and go conversations and difficult moments. The whole Disney/Hollywood love and marriage thing needs to get in the bin.

The Zen Psychedelic's avatar

Totally, but having just gone through it, I also deeply appreciate the value in the celebration and ritual with all your loved ones. Just serves a different purpose

Ajd's avatar

No promises - only actions count. Day after day. Moment after moment...

Congrats for Marriage👍