There Are No Good Decisions

Pondering on the futility of "what ifs" and "could haves."

A few nights ago, I found myself ensnared in a trap.

I was reflecting on some key decisions I've made in my life — criticizing some and lauding others. It felt easy to judge my decisions through the lens of hindsight.

• Was quitting school the right decision?

• Should I have accepted that higher-paying job that offered more security and stability?

• Was moving to a new city for a fresh start really necessary?

• Should I have tried to make it work with my ex-partner? 

It's easy to look back and think about all the decisions we've made in the past and wonder if the choices made were good or bad — but the truth is that there is no such thing as a good or bad decision. 

In fact, the idea that we even have the choice to make "good" decisions is inherently flawed when you consider the unpredictability of outcomes and the transient nature of our intentions. 

This old Zen koan does an excellent job of illustrating this concept: 

There was once a wise farmer who had tended his farm for many years. One day, his horse unexpectedly ran away into the mountains. Upon hearing the news, the farmer's neighbors came to visit.

"How terrible," they told him.

"We'll see," the wise farmer replied.

The next morning, to the farmer's surprise, the horse returned, bringing with it three wild horses. "How wonderful. You are very lucky!" the neighbors exclaimed.

"We'll see," replied the farmer.

The following day, the farmer's son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse was untamed, and the boy was thrown to the ground hard, breaking his leg.

"How sad," the neighbors said, offering sympathy for the farmer's misfortune.

"We'll see," answered the farmer.

The next day, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"We'll see," the farmer said.

Making Decisions: A Zen Perspective

Zen Buddhism offers 4 key principles that encourage us to avoid dubbing any decision either "good" or "bad" and to avoid overthinking about decisions already made in the past:

1. Impermanence

Today's good decisions might not stand the test of time as situations change.

One of the core teachings of Buddhism is the idea of impermanence — everything changes. This means that what appears to be a good decision now may not be in the future. Outcomes are not only unpredictable but also ever-changing in their value or significance.

No-Self (Anatta) is the idea that there is no unchanging, permanent self or soul that can be applied to decision-making. If there is no constant "self," it means motivations are also shifting, complex, and interdependent. This makes it hard to define the true motive behind a "good" decision.

2. Interconnectedness 

Every decision sets off a ripple, affecting myriad factors beyond our immediate comprehension.

The idea that all things are interconnected suggests that the outcome of a decision is not isolated but has ripple effects that are nearly impossible to fully anticipate. Deciding to help someone may inadvertently cause harm elsewhere or even to the same person at a different time.

3. Emptiness

Assigning labels like "good" or "bad" to decisions is an arbitrary act, given that events don't possess inherent value.

In Zen Buddhism, emptiness is a concept that refers to the absence of inherent existence in all phenomena (non-duality). This could mean that labeling decisions as "good" or "bad" is essentially attaching arbitrary values to inherently neutral events.

4. Non-Attachment

Zen encourages actions without fixating on outcomes, emphasizing one to embrace life's uncertainties.

A core teaching of Zen is to act without attachment to outcomes — embracing uncertainty as an essential aspect of life. This supports the idea that focusing on whether a decision is "good" or “bad” may miss the point altogether.

What's the Lesson?

The lesson here is that it's fruitless to be hard on ourselves about something we did or didn't do in the past.

While we may agonize over the "what ifs" and "could haves," the essence of wisdom lies in accepting the fluidity of life and the imperfection of our choices. 

By embracing the principles of impermanence, interconnectedness, emptiness, and non-attachment, we can learn to view our past decisions not through the lens of regret but as stepping stones in our perpetual growth. 

In doing so, we free ourselves from the incessant cycle of hindsight bias and instead open ourselves to the richness and unpredictability of the journey ahead.